Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  parking. I am not drunk

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  (847): I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot. (847): parking. I am not drunk http://tfl.nu/zit9
  Replies (9) Good night (901) Bad night (457)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.

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  (519): I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that. http://tfl.nu/jia8
  Replies (110) Good night (14503) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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  (610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk
  Replies (26) Good night (7462) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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  (724): You kept referring to your penis as "this guy." http://tfl.nu/osjv
  Replies (18) Good night (5041) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  No thats like a top 10

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  (918): is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night? (1-918): No thats like a top 10 http://tfl.nu/uawo
  Replies (35) Good night (6502) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Well it worked

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Not the point

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  (330): The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind (1-330): Well it worked (330): Not the point http://tfl.nu/mxs7
  Replies (21) Good night (5907) Bad night (830)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls

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  (317): Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls http://tfl.nu/a8qz
  Replies (60) Good night (1307) Bad night (6569) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...

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  (443): At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead... http://tfl.nu/ukld
  Replies (10) Good night (673) Bad night (4231)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.

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  (770): You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind. http://tfl.nu/3qxe
  Replies (6) Good night (1291) Bad night (2378) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.

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  (702): she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves. http://tfl.nu/b0kq
  Replies (12) Good night (4014) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day

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  (601): Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day http://tfl.nu/ht8i
  Replies (14) Good night (2680) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.

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  (209): Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt. http://tfl.nu/nrp4
  Replies (3) Good night (1333) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with

  (509): View more from Washington

  Isn't life beautiful?

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  (360): So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with (509): Isn't life beautiful? http://tfl.nu/f406
  Replies (13) Good night (1945) Bad night (916)
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  (420): View more from

  Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.

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  (420): Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals. http://tfl.nu/6422
  Replies (9) Good night (1132) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"

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  (865): He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore" http://tfl.nu/phr6
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt

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