hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize