Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i drank out of a bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize