She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
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Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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