my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize