K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
please don't ironically join a cult
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