do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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