this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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