I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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