I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
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She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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