I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize