dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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