I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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