Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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