Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He? As in you personified your dick?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize