Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
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So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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