Duck Duck Cougar?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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