the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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