Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
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You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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