I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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