make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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