I just pynch a tree in the face
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Two words: nipple clamps
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