ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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