hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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