I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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