you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize