i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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