Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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