some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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