Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize