Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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