An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
not ubering you a puppy
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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