I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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