So drunk its hurt
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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