what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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