Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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