But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
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I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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