The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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