he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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