That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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