you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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