The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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