I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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