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In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
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