I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize