never play flip cup with pint glasses
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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