I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
whose parrot is this?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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