if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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