How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think a kid would responsible me up
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If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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