found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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